Harriet has already made a commitment to her new business, which incorporates a lot of what she already knew from her experience in grant writing, fund raising and working with non-profits. Jean is on the brink of taking a new direction in her life. She has a passion for color, color analysis and therapy and has even obtained a certificate in it. Her challenge is how to make money building a business around something she loves.  And Irene has a million great ideas and needs to sort them out according to what will motivate her long term and where she’ll be able to make money most easily.

Exit strategy for all of us means finding a way to continue to thrive despite the challenges we face at this age.

Several resources which can be helpful for us, and others our age, were mentioned. Here’s the ones I made note of.

Coming of Age, http://comingofage.org

The Transition Network, http://thetransitionnetwork.org

PESID, People Empowering Seniors Independence & Dignity, http://www.meetup.com/PESID-people-empowering-seniors-independence-dignity/.

It seemed like there was some very good possible synergy that came out of our discussion. I do hope you will follow-up with each other. You just never know what might develop.

In September our Morning Café will take place on Monday, September 12^th from 10 – 11:30 a.m. Our theme for this meeting will be “relationships”. The web page can be viewed at  http://www.primestrategies.com/age-related_changes.htm. And the next Evening Café will be Thursday, September 22^nd, 7 – 8:30 p.m. The planned theme for this one will be “love and sex”. Make note of these on your calendar and plan to attend if you can.

What also happened is she started being more true to herself in the kinds of clients she was working with. As a result she has been able to attract more of the right clients, many of whom are well-to-do and can pay her fees.

She said she’s been debt free since March and the feeling of “freedom” has really allowed her to flourish.

If you’ve had a freedom from debt experience I invite you to share it here.

And, no, prince charming isn’t coming. We are on our own. We agreed that we are the first generation in a two income household. Most of our mothers didn’t work, at least not full time. We have created the model for the next generation and they have already adopted it.

Here are some good tips for maximizing financial resources that were presented last night.

-          Look at your financial statements to know exactly where you stand at all times

-          Pay yourself first out of every paycheck

-          Have a cash savings account, and keep adding to it regularly

-          Be alert to bargains and think long and hard before spending on a big ticket item.

I do hope you will follow-up with anyone from the group if you are so inclined. That’s part of what the Café’s are about…making new friends, sharing experiences and offering support.

We will have an August Evening Café and our theme will be “exit strategy”, http://www.primestrategies.com/evening-cafe.htm.  I’ve set Thursday, August 25^th from 7 – 8:30 p.m. for our next meeting. Do check it out and send your RSVP right away.

Before I go, here’s the link to the Aging But Dangerous website I mentioned,  http://agingbutdangerous.com/. Watch the video, you’ll be amazed…and maybe inspired.

We seem to be getting to know our bodies better as we age. For some a special diet is the answer. There was a lot of sharing on yeast free diets, low carb diets and acid reduction diets. Several people offered to share more from their own experiences and offered applicable resources. I encourage you to follow up with any member who has information you think you can use.

And Irene shared a wonderful truth: when you feel good about yourself you look good. So the bottom line is it’s up to us to do whatever we must to retain personal pride in our appearance. It’s our responsibility and there’s a lot we can do.

The organization that I mentioned for professional women age 50+ is http://thetransitionnetwork.com. The New York Chapter is quite large and has activities and events for its members. It’s worth checking out.

Sandy Hook Beach in Atlantic Highlands, NJ, is a 30 minute ferry ride away. As I mentioned I’m putting together a group of women who are brave enough to put on a bathing suit (at this age?) and enjoy themselves at the beach. Of course, anything you want to wear is just fine. It’s meant to be a day of fun, relaxation and adventure. I’m looking at Saturday, July 9^th as the proposed date, with the following Saturday, July 16^th as the rain date. The round trip ferry ride from the East 35^th St. pier is $43. Let me know if you’re interested and I’ll send you the details.

Our next Evening Café will be on Thursday, July 28^th from 7 – 8:30 p.m. The theme for that meeting will be “money”, something that keeps many of us up at night. We will be meeting at Irene’s charming, mini-day spa once again. Thank you so much Irene.

You might also want to consider the next Morning Café on July 11^th, from 10 – 11:30 a.m. The theme for that meeting is “exit strategy”. More info on that one here, http://www.primestrategies.com/age-related_changes.htm.

Send me an RSVP and let me know which of these you want to attend.

-          The need for new ways to use assets, perhaps even moving into other areas or markets

-          How to build a business using old assets in a new way

-          Happy to be working in a non-corporate environment

-          The desire or need to spend less time on business – more on personal

-          Interest in additional resources for those 60+

-          The desire to do something that would be a meaningful contribution to others.

We also opened the subject of “exit strategy”, both in terms of business and personal. At this point in life, it’s not just about building or maintaining a business, it’s also about how you want to eventually leave the business…and your life. Lots to consider, so that will be the theme for the next Morning Café on Monday, July 11^th, 10 – 11:30 a.m. An invitation will be going out later this month, but you can reserve your seat now by sending an RSVP.

This month’s Evening Café is scheduled for Thursday, June 23^rd, 7 – 8:30 (new time) and will be held at Irene Ankner’s loft, which is located at 123 E. 54th St., #2C (corner of Lex). Our theme for this meeting is “body image”. This is where we’ll talk about all those face and body changes we’re seeing that we’re not liking too much. If you’d like to attend, it’s a good idea to let me know now. This one will be popular.

Before I go I’m sharing a few resources and groups I’m aware of that you might like to know about.

Transition Network, http://www.thetransitionnetwork.org/Default.aspx

Encore (careers) http://www.encore.org/

Seniors for Living, http://www.seniorsforliving.com/?gclid=CKjBxtbCpKkCFQbc4Aodvl4DtA&

Vibrant Nation, http://www.vibrantnation.com/

If you know of any others please forward to me and I will pass them along.

The theme for this meeting was the “sense of loss”. While the circumstances were different for each of us there was a commonality of feelings. The loss of valuable relationships was the main underlying theme. Whether through death or illness of a loved one, the loss is felt deeply and we each will need to compensate in some fashion. That’s totally normal. The objective is to make the compensation as positive as possible in order maintain a sense of control in our own lives. Mary shared some of the things she is doing and is an inspiration for us all.

I know how hard it is to experience loss because I’ve been through it too. What I have learned and have come to embrace is that change and loss are an inevitable part of life. Without sounding too philosophical, I find it has helped me to identify areas of my life that could be developed. I have come a long way from being that burnt-out workaholic trying to make up for losses in my life. My business is on a new path with those in their “platinum years”, I have love in my life again, and I’ve expanded my inner circle to include wonderful people like you. I feel blessed and honored.

I always encourage group members to follow-up with anyone from the group if they are so inclined. That’s part of what the Café’s are about…making new friends, sharing experiences and offering support.

Irene Ankner has graciously offered her loft (123 E. 54th St., #2C) for our next Evening Café which will be Thursday, June 23rd at a new time, 7:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.  Our theme will be “body image”. And please plan to join us for our June 6th Morning Café from 10:00 to 11:30 a.m. That will be at our regular location, the Bluebell Café, 293 Third Ave. The theme for June 6th will be “challenges of the 60+ entrepreneur”. Please send your RSVP now for either of those to marian@primestrategies.com with the Subject as the Cafe and the date.

So the negative relationship was continuing, now on a business basis as well. When questioned in any fashion the father threatened to retire again, but the daughter still needed the help, so they’d have a discussion and reach what she thought was agreement. But, of course, the father went back to doing things as he saw fit, rather than letting her take the lead. She found this lack of control very draining on her emotionally and physically. But she still needed someone to function as CFO.

After discussing it with me she realized she really needed to find someone who would be willing to work WITH her and follow her lead. Her plan is to bring on a consultant to function as temporary CFO. If he/she works out the person will become permanent. Over the next 30 days she will actively seek a replacement for her father and tell her father that she is accepting his retirement. She expects to get some flack and more negativity, but she has realized that her father will never change (cannot change) and she needs to take back control of her business.

Too often I see business owners putting up with employees, often parents, who are non-productive or counterproductive. Sometimes a work-around can be made. I have one client whose father handed over the business to her but remained in the business. Because he functions mostly as an ambassador he is not blocking productivity. In this case it’s good for the parent and the business, but think long and hard before agreeing to have a family member in your business, especially a parent. Make sure they are not  holding you hostage in your own business.

Do you have an interesting story to share about child-parent business relationships?

Start with one pound of lobster meat. We buy ours at the Brooklyn Red Hook Lobster Pound. It’s got some mayo already on it, but nothing else. Think of it as a blank canvas.

1 pound lobster meat

2 – 3 scallions, chopped

1/2  sweet red pepper, chopped

1 stalk of celery, chopped

1 tsp. garlic powder

1 tbsp.  sweet pickle relish

1/2 – 3/4 cup mayonnaise

Blend together, cover and place in refrigerator for 2 -3 hrs. so the flavors can meld. Spoon into warm soft rolls shaped like hot dog rolls, but have the cut on the top. MMMMMmmmm, good.  But they are filling, so plan one at a time.

If you do try it let me know what you think.

P.S. – I know this isn’t about business, but I wanted to share it because it’s so good.

Also historically they said they often disagreed with each other in meetings with their executive staff.  Because this took extra time and was not a good face to be presenting to those who had major responsibilities, they decided that when they found themselves disagreeing they would stop the discussion and say they would work out the disagreement at a later time and come back with a unified position next time. At this past week’s meeting they didn’t disagree in the meeting, but realized they didn’t agree and decided to discuss it afterward. By taking it up specifically after the meeting they were able to reach agreement and are prepared to come back next time with a unified statement. Both felt it wasn’t perfect, but that progress had been made.

The bottom line: in order to move forward on anything, agreement must be reached. When there is disagreement it saps energy and time and keeps things from moving forward.

In addition to finding out where they were together and where they were apart, I learned each of their strengths. I asked if there was a delineation of duties, with each having responsibility for specific areas. While it seems they knew their areas of strength they did not have anything like a table of organization.

So their first assignment was to agree that each would be the final decision-maker for specific areas. The husband took web site development and marketing; the wife took operations and product management. For projects they agreed that the individual responsible for the department bearing the bulk of the work would oversee the project from beginning to end and would assign tasks to the other departments if needed.

They also agreed that before major decisions were made in their areas they would run the details and facts by the other partner. If the other partner had issues or concerns they would take 24 – 48 hours to consider everything before making a final decision.

This change meant they would need to communicate the new structure to their department heads, which is on the agenda for next time.

They have used the new system for 2 weeks and things seem to have gone smoothly so far. We’ll see what comes up as new projects are started and the staff adjust to a clearer delineation of roles and responsibilities.